PART XVIII
Lord, look at our heart and cleanse us to avoid darkness
Our Heavenly Father loves us so deeply that He offered His only Son, Jesus Christ, as a genuine sacrifice for us. I was struck with mortality in an unexpected way many years ago, when I was newly married. I assumed I'd died and that everything had ended. My wife was pregnant at the time, and we both worked in Oman. One day, I paid her a visit at work. I was crossing the street after the visit to catch a bus, and the bus was coming from the opposite side, and I didn't look to the left when crossing. A Pick Up suddenly hit me in the knee, sending me down. The automobile tried to save me. It simply overturned and skidded to the opposite side of the road. The Arab (local) came out of the car and asked what had happened to me. He expressed gratitude to God for my rescue. Later, I sensed an angel of God take possession of the vehicle, and I believe the angel is sitting in the Pick Up Vehicle. There is no way a driver driving in the opposite direction could have saved me from this accident. My vision had gone black, and I couldn't see anything. The driver helped me board the bus and told me how scared my wife was because of the incident; she was staring at me helplessly, wondering what to do. I began to believe that if I died without accomplishing anything nice for my soul, I would go to hell. Sirach 15:14–18 (NJB):15 If you choose, you will keep the commandments and so be faithful to his will. 16 He has set fire and water before you; put out your hand to whichever you prefer. 17 A human being has life and death before him; whichever he prefers will be given him. 18 For vast is the wisdom of the Lord; he is almighty and all-seeing. I felt as if God had given me a new life, and a great longing for Jesus arose in my heart. I was blaming myself and contemplating a retreat. The following year, both of us attended a retreat at Divine Retreat Centre. It was a watershed moment in my life as I faced the gloom of death. God was always providing me with situations or incidents in my life to bring me closer to Him. Actually, the incidences are a summons from God, and they serve as a caution to me to seek Him while He is near. God is not concerned with our physical looks or ability.. 1 Samuel 16:7 (NJB): 7 but Yahweh said to Samuel, ‘Take no notice of his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him; God does not see as human beings see; they look at appearances but Yahweh looks at the heart. God is choosing us in a different way. Then I attend so many retreats and I could not experience Jesus in a full manner. Then I thought I am not worthy to get Jesus. I knew it was because my sins that Jesus was away from me.
